Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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