You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
