I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
