Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
