Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize