u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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