Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
