Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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