She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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