dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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