dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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