u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
