Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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