I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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