last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
