i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
