his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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