Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have already put on my inside pants.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
