can we get nightvision for the apartment?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
