I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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