so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize