I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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