TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
