JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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