my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize