He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
