He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
