I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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