Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
