Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
