I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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