Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
