My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
