please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
