i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
