i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize