My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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