Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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