I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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