C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
