you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
