This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
