dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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