I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
