On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
did i walk over a car last night?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
