what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
