No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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