end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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