This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize