Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava

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  (617): His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava http://tfl.nu/q9zi
  Replies (164) Good night (2122) Bad night (3400) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.

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  (908): My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar. http://tfl.nu/kqtr
  Replies (9) Good night (3293) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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  (815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed. http://tfl.nu/hsgt
  Replies (35) Good night (1658) Bad night (6600) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

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  (201): Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself. http://tfl.nu/3rwg
  Replies (6) Good night (5587) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

  (420): View more from

  I'll be there in 10 minutes.

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  (415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda
  Replies (25) Good night (1003) Bad night (7878)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6600) Bad night (1583) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11313) Bad night (2384) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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  (479): He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave. http://tfl.nu/idj5
  Replies (6) Good night (658) Bad night (3023) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2276) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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  (631): "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/grgx
  Replies (14) Good night (2483) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.

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  (817): Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer. http://tfl.nu/3l5u
  Replies (6) Good night (2926) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.

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  (651): I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents. http://tfl.nu/48zb
  Replies (18) Good night (832) Bad night (2281)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

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  (410): Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii. http://tfl.nu/nmvv
  Replies (6) Good night (2044) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

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  (570): Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home. http://tfl.nu/ff77
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (70) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'

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  (443): SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK' http://tfl.nu/77su
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (82) Order T-Shirt

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