Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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