meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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