then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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