Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize