Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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