The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
id be glad to
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
