So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
