You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The Olympian is in my bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
