If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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