Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
